Have you ever practiced hour after hour to get better at something?
Not knowing if you’d reach your goal. But motivated by the possibility of reaching it.
That was the way it was for me on the basketball court as a kid. I’d practice moves over and over again.
Hours. Weeks. Months. Years.
Don’t get me wrong, practicing basketball was fun. And it was also hard work.
I practiced through one season where I rarely played.
But it was worth it.
*****
Awesome!
“You’re awesome!” my teammate Andy screamed.
It was one of the last games of my life six years after the season I rarely played. Richard Hall, the best player on the other team, went by another player else. Richard jumped and released the ball. I stood as he fell into me. The referee blew his whistle. “CHARGE!” We had won the game!
My friend Andy pulled me off the floor and yelled, “You’re awesome!”
What you become
“What you get by achieving your goals,” Zig Ziglar says, “is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”
The win that day against Wyoming pales compared to our experience of becoming winners, knowing that we could face a strong opponent and come out on top.
That moment of victory when I was 17 is forever cemented in my mind.
I’ve done many things since that game. I’ve done some things that I am proud of. And I’m a man who has done some things that I deeply regret.
I’ve also never stopped being–in my mind’s eye–that 17-year-old whose teammate pulled him off the ground and said, “You are awesome!”
If reliving that high school basketball moment with me doesn’t resonate with you, recall your experience of what you became when you achieved a goal.
*****
“YES!”
Gordon nearly jumped out of his seat.
“YES! That’s awesome!”
Gordon had seen me steal the ball, get a rebound, or score at many Finneytown school basketball games. And he and I had played pick-up basketball at a local Salvation Army gym many nights. But he wasn’t responding to a play on the court.
I had just told Gordon how I had been kind. It might have been that I had befriended a new kid at school or stood up for him.
*****
Accountability & Celebrating
Gordon was my accountability partner.
If the idea of an “accountability partner” doesn’t mean much to you, that’s okay. I will be unpacking this idea in the coming weeks. For now, we’ll just go with this — an accountability partner is someone you commit to for the purpose of helping you reach goals or keep commitments.
Gordon was a mentor who felt like a friend. He was someone I could trust. I had also made a weekly commitment to meet with him.
We’d meet at 7am at Arby’s in Finneytown, just down the street from my high school. Gordon would bring a coupon for something like a Bacon, Egg, and Cheese croissant.
We’d order our breakfast, sit down and then ask each other the five questions about how we were doing in different areas of our lives. This included whether we were being honest and how I we had treated others.
When Gordon celebrated my success that day, it meant the world to me!
You did it & you can do it!
Not every meeting was like that.
There were a lot of mornings I met Gordon and said things like, “I yelled at the guys on the team” or “I didn’t keep a commitment.”
Sometimes I thought about driving past Arby’s restaurant and skipping the meeting.
What’s the point? I would wonder.
Will I ever change? When will I have the courage to stand up for other kids being bullied?
Does that sound familiar to you?
If you’re working towards a goal but are seeing little change, you know how long and tiring the road can be to make it. Hour after hour. Day after day. You know how rewarding it can be to hear someone else say, “YOU DID IT!”
And you know the value of someone believing in you as you work towards your goal, saying, “YOU CAN DO IT!”
Your celebration
Here are three ways you might celebrate:
- Play your favorite song.
- Dance
- Enjoy food you love.
During the pandemic, a leader of an NGO told me, “We play a team member’s favorite song!”
I recently saw Ana do a fortnight dance during a workshop. You don’t have to wait until the next wedding to dance!
My son Ben loves to go to Burger King to celebrate pretty much anything.
What about you?
How do you celebrate others’ success?
And how do you want others to celebrate your success?
What’s next?
I’m not asking you to sign on the dotted line to commit to an accountability relationship today. I will share more about what this relationship looks like over the next few weeks.
Instead, what I’m asking you to consider today is this — what does it look like for you to celebrate success?
Your Turn
You did it! You made it this far!
Want to engage more?
This will take less than two minutes.
- Breathe. Yes. Breathe. You may be on the cusp of significant change. You don’t want to rush it. Close your eyes. And take four deep breaths. In and out. In and out. (you get the idea!)
- Observe. Who has celebrated your success? What did they do?
- Text. Whose success can you celebrate? Send a quick text to celebrate. You can do it! (By the way, as I was writing the first draft of this, I stopped and texted three people).
Go Deeper
This section might be challenging. It may be gut-wrenching and soul-searching. You are worth it!
Reflect. Let’s say you are stuck in an area of your life. Fast forward three months into the future, and describe what you can imagine.
How does your life look different?
What would you do to celebrate this change?
Who else has been on this journey with you?